The Truth
by Fairyfae
Summary: A little peice I threw together about what denial can cost you if you are not careful. It's a YueTouya story. Since there aren't many, I thought I would contribute.


Title: The Truth

Warnings: None Really. Some yaoi. Light petting...nothing special.

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own them. The writing done by the original authors is soooooo much better. All hail CLAMP...AAAND all their hotties. (Especially their hotties).

"The truth."

Yue starred with seeming impassivity at the boy encased in a pathetically inadequate white blanket. His chest ached as the dull rasp of the boy's voice slid around his heart like sandpaper - an abrasive force that left him bleeding inside. "I'm sorry."

Touya's eyes shifted briefly, the dull blue listlessly taking in his companion before sliding back to stare at the ceiling. "You've always told me the truth." Eyelids slid down in a mockery of sleep. Moments passed in absolute, oppressive silence before the voice picked up again, eyes never opening. "I've always respected you for that."

Now it was Yue's turn to close his eyes only to open them moments later. If any other person had been present to observe the startled action, they would almost call it fear. Fear of what, it wasn't clear. Perhaps, the pseudo-angel thought that by losing sight of the boy for a moment, he would lose sight of him forever.

For the first time ever, Yue's voice began to sound less than smooth, almost as if his throat was clenched around the tears that he could not produce. "I'm sorry."

The boy in bed continued to stare at the inside of his eyelids. If he heard the utterance or not was unclear. Indeed, he began speaking as if the other had not spoken at all. "Never once...not even once...not even once since he disappeared...that part of you...that part of you...was it fake?...did no part of you really..."

Suddenly, the boy's breath began to hitch and his body convulsed sharply, his back going taunt as a drawn bow. The machines in the room blarred to life in a discordant symphony of unwelcome sound. A storm of panic chased away Yue's calm facade, as he settled on the bedside only to draw the limp figure up and into his arms. Touya's limp head was pressed lovingly into his shoulder. The second that lasted an eternity was soon over. The tense silence compelled the normally stoic being to attempt speech yet again. This time, his voice was even more like the dying boy's. For once, Yue begged.

"Just hold on Touya. Sakura and your father are on their way. Sakura's flight in from China will arrive at any moment. Even I could only get here a little faster than a jet. And your father...he's taking the first plane available. He'll be back from his dig in no time. Just hold on." Yue's fingers unconsciously kneaded the back of Touya's head, a desperate affirmation that the boy was still alive and in his arms.

Again, Touya began to speak as if nothing had been said or nothing had occurred since his last words. Rasping into Yue's neck, voice still sounding disconnected, uninterested in its own content, "No, that part of you loved me, but you never lied. Not once. Never once did you say that you loved me...the whole you. The complete you. Even as he disappeared within you, that part of you that was part of me...you never lied to me and said you loved me. That naive peice thought it loved me but how could it?"

Yue cringed and something in his chest seized up, "I'm sorry."

"No hope. You didn't let me have any false hope." a sigh brushed across the bare skin at the base of Yue's throat sending shivers of apprehension down his spine. "I always respected you for that." Yue started to rock gently back and forth. He didn't know if he was trying to comfort the patient or ease the unbearable rising tension in his chest. A feather light tickle traced an abnormal pattern across his skin, the indelible trace of liquid left in its wake.

Yue began to mutter over and over again. One word. No. An unceasing litany of denial in such a small, insignificant voice. This pain could not be coming to him. He had protected himself this time. He swore never to offer his heart to another. This couldn't be hurting. It just couldn't.

"I'm sorry."

For the first time, Touya acknowledged Yue's words. Gradually, leaning his head back into Yue's supporting hand, Touya looked up into slitted eyes. A ghost of his once vibrant life returning to his face, Touya blessed him with an almost invisible smile and attempted to give comfort as it was his very nature to do so. "Don't be sorry. It is not your fault that you couldn't love me. Afterall, your not the only one. Everyone loves him. He's just a little bit more...just a little bit better. Kaho...Kaho loves him, you love him...have loved him since conception. Sakura follows faithfully in his footsteps." Touya paused breifly as if reviewing everyone in his life. "Even father. Even he is a part of him. I love you but I always knew it was impossible. There was him and he is perfect. Even I love him...the paternal part of him. How could I compete? How could I begrudge you your lack of affection. No. Please don't be sorry. Its only natural. Please, don't hurt because of me..."

Touya's head lolled back into Yue's shoulder, his little burst of energy expended. Touya's conversation shifted abruptly making Yue's head spin.

"I won't be able to see him again, will I?" More water meandered down to dampen the cloth of Yue's robe. "Since he has no soul, since he was just an illusion I won't even get to hold him again in death, will I?"

Yue tried to speak but found himself completely incapable. The sandpaper abrading his heart had moved to do similar damage to his eyes. He just couldn't figure out why so many parts of his body were either constricted or burning.

"My illusory love."

Suddenly, Touya's body shuddered and went limp. Yue's eyes went impossibly wide. The screaming of machines was minuscule relative to the agonized sound that ripped its way out of Yue's chest.

"TOUYA...TOUYA, GET UP!!! GET UP NOW DAMN YOU. GET UP. DON'T LEAVE ME. DON'T YOU LEAVE ME. DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT. I SAID I WAS SORRY."

Yue ignored the pounding of feet coming down the hallway instead choosing to shake the limp body continually and with unnatural force, its head snapping back and forth violently.

Yue continued to yell, to caught up to think about what he was doing. To caught to notice any of his surroundings. "Touya please...please." Yue's breaking voice pleaded. "Please...I am sorry. I am so sorry. I'm sorry that I'm a coward. I am sorry that I lied to me. I'm sorry that I lied to you. I love you. I love you. I love you. God, I love you against my will. And I lied. Every day I lied about it. Please forgive me."

The machines stopped their racket butYue didn't notice. Feet no longer beat hastily down the hall but Yue didn't notice. The door was no longer closed but Yue didn't notice. The opaque, silvery moisture on his face couldn't have come from the figure now prone on the bed but Yue didn't notice. A hand fell on his shoulder and Yue noticed.

He grabbed desperately at the hand ready to throw the offending object away when a hauntingly familiar voice stopped him cold. Slowly, Yue turned his head. Standing behind him stood a young boy in glasses, and superimposed over his body was the image of his first heart's death.

"Yue." the ghost might have been speaking in the firm, soft voice that was still so familiar but it reached Yue's ears as little more than a whisper. "Did you really mean all that you said?"

Yue's face scrunched up in the most exquisitely beautiful portrayal of pain. His inner turmoil easy to see. If his neck was metal, the hinges must have been rusty for his head swivelled with torturous effort from the peacefully still face on the bed to the ghost image and back again. Finally, decision solidified and the angel closed his eyes.

"Yes" the word was little more than a dying breath escaping unusually pale lips. "I love him. Am IN love with him. Just him."

Yue opened his eyes to stare unfalteringly at his former master, "Do you hate me?"

Eerily, both the standing young boy and his resident specter smiled simultaneously. "Of course not. I am happy to see you are finally ready to move on." Ever the teacher, Eriol couldn't resist saying one more word, "Those who live in the past risk losing their future."

Gently, Eriol pushed his glasses back up on his nose before reaching out to Yue's face. As if inviting a butterfly to perch on his finger, the young boy allowed a single drop of liquid to alight on his finger. The drop balance precariously, vibrating with the brush of air as Eriol moved it in front of Yue's eyes. Starring in wonder, Yue examined the mercury-like drop before caressing his own face to feel the moisture there.

Ever so carefully, Eriol drifted past Yue to stand by the bed. A few muttered words, and the room was alight in green as an invisible artist painted technicolor graffiti across the wall and floor. More words were spoken as Eriol gently placed the teardrop against the tranquil lips of the boy on the bed. The drop spread into a thin line before seeping through the cracks and into the boys mouth.

Turning a benign expression on his one time servant, friend and child, Eriol gestured to the son of his heart stating simply, "Call him back. If the invitation is right, he will come."

Yue watched the ghost for some hint of what to do but it only smiled one more time before fading out of sight. Eriol strolled out of the room leaving Yue to stare at the bed.

Cautiously, still uncertain, Yue leaned toward Touya, watching with sorrowful amazement as the impossibility of his tears tricked down onto the face which was now only millimeters way. Gently, Yue cupped Touya's face. Four fingers of his other hand came under Touya's chin to tilt his head slightly while at the same time leaving his thumb free to tenderly press on the hallow beneath Touya's bottom lip. The wet, soft sound of Touya's lips parting under his thumbs persuasion was clearly audible to Yue's superior hearing. Just short of panting, Yue leaned in just a fraction more until he could taste Touya's last lingering breath escaping through his open mouth before whispering into that cavern, "I love you. Return to me."

His invitation given, Yue sealed their mouths together and proceeded to fulfill his previously unacknowledged desire. With desperate passion, Yue caressed the slick inner walls of Touya's mouth, bathing his tongue with the other boy's saliva. He continued his exploration, lost in his search for a sign of life. Suddenly, Yue's muscles tensed and he tried to draw back only to feel his tongue clamped firmly between insistent teeth. Awkwardly, Yue's eye's tried to focus on a set of very close, searing blue eyes. His body trembled as he felt another's tongue rub firmly under his own like an owner stroking a favored pet under its chin.

With one final lick, Touya slowly released Yue, enough that said angel could draw his face away just a fraction.

Stoic face back, intense gaze in place, Touya snorted into their shared airspace, "You looked funny."

For a moment, Yue's look clearly stated that Touya was an idiot. It was only a moment. Soon enough Yue's eyelids lowered until his expression was pure seduction, traces of his suffering from seconds before still in his voice, "I love you."

A deep, predatory growl escaped Touya's throat before he lunged, capturing Yue's lower lip between his teeth. While nipping, biting and devouring Yue's lips Touya easily flipped the lighter man on his back only to be flipped right off the bed as Yue moved to change their positions.

Stricken by the harm he might have done, Yue moved to get off the fallen boy. Touya used Yue's momentum to flip them again and pin his angel beneath him. Satisfied, he resumed his plunder. Yue, lost in pleasure, acquiesced. Hands wandered, cloths 'disappeared' as the two became lost in each other.

"HOOOOOEEEEEEEE!!!!!" a voice screeched.

"And to think, I came here to see this." the sarcastic words carried an odd overtone of relief.

Touya rolled his eyes to the side to look at his sister and her husband, one of each of their arms clasped by the rueful - if his expression was anything to go on - hands of Eriol. Touya smirked and was careful to make sure that his adorably embarrassed angel couldn't scramble up to great his master properly.

"Out brat."

"Oh for heavens sake!" Sayouran threw his hands into the air inadvertently dislodging Eriol before dragging his wife backwards. Eriol was stopped as he went to back out of the door.

"Eriol? I am well?"

"You are well." Eriol bowed as he shut the door behind him.

Yue whacked Touya in the head with a hand recently freed while Touya was distracted. "What were you thinking. That was your sister and my mast..."

Touya pressed a finger to Yue's lips granting the other a small smile, "Thank you for telling me the truth."


End file.
